I lost my shit. I had 4 hours of sleep the night before and I was tired. I told my 4 year old not to lock his door as I could see he was messing around with it. Not moments later, he ran out to tell me he locked his door and couldn’t get in. I lost my shit.
I’m usually a very laid back and get down to their level type of parent. Yet, the last few weeks have been a strain with a new baby in the house and a new found independence of a 4 year old. I caught myself yelling at him as I was sticking a bobby pin in the lock. Of course we don’t have keys for the doors. Afterward I sat down and felt ashamed of myself. After I composed myself and was able to get in, by taking off the whole handle of course, I sat down to talk to him.
One of the reasons people decide to make a change in their life is because they can’t live a certain way anymore. This problem is enough for them to look into what they can do to change their current circumstance. In my specific situation, it was my yelling that I was starting to have a problem with the last few weeks and I wanted to stop. I wasn’t able to self-improve without self-reflecting. I needed to look at who I was as a parent and what type of parent I wanted to be.
These situations come in all forms, and I’ve had my fair share of them. You can’t move forward until you identify the underlying issues. You can’t expect your life to change until reflecting on yourself and asking the right questions. These answers encourage us to find what really means to us so that we can decide how to get there. This is why the self-improvement begins with self-reflection.
Self-Reflection – meditation or serious thought about one’s character, actions, and motives.
Answer these questions
- What type of person do I want to achieve to be?
- Where was I 5 years ago?
- Where am I right now?
- Where would I like to be in 5 years?
Take a moment and process those thoughts. You can sign up below to get my free worksheet to brain dump your process of self-reflection.
- Identify areas you want to change
- What you want to improve on
- What obstacles you’ll face to achieve those actions
- Strategies to get there
When was the last time you sat down and thought about who you are as a person? What motives you to do the things you do? How can you self-improve if you don’t know these things?
You can’t. You aren’t able to move forward with improvement unless you know why you are where you are right now. Start by picking out specific areas for improvement. The problem most people have is trying to fix too many things at once. There’s no way to do that. Instead you have to break it into smaller tasks and tackle them one by one. You can’t overwhelm yourself and expect to improve everything. This will prevent you from moving accomplishing your goals.
Decide now you can make your own decisions and can take the necessary actions to be able to self-improve. Determine yourself what you are capable of and create realistic goals. If you’re looking back at someone for validation, are you doing it for yourself and will it stick?
You must find love for yourself before anyone else can love you. If you push, those that push back will start to fall back. Accept who you are and where you are now because this moment is what has made you, you. You can become someone who loves themselves. Self-reflect on who you are because you’re the only person who can choose your outcome.
Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted – it is an intimate date with yourself. – Paul Wong
After you answer the questions and created a plan, it’s time to take action. Self-motivation to accomplish the goals you have set in place so you can get to where you want to be.
- What is your strategy to accomplish your goal?
- What are the obstacles you’ll face?
- How will you overcome those obstacles?
When you find yourself self-reflecting wonderful things start to happen. Instead of looking at others for affirmation, you look to yourself. You don’t compare, as you know where you are going already. What’s even better, you start wanting to help others accomplish their goals.
What you shouldn’t do
Focus on your negative qualities which will only lead to slow growth. Self-reflection is about realizing what those negative qualities are, but not focus on them. You need a positive end goal to focus on into order to get there. Looking at the flaws in yourself and those around you will move you back in your timeline.
How do you self-reflect? Please share ways in the comments that you self-reflect in order to self-improve, I would love to hear them.