SELF-IMPROVEMENT STARTS WITH SELF-REFLECTION

Posted in Self-Improvement
I lost my shit. I had 4 hours of sleep the night before and I was tired.  I told my 4 year old not to lock his door as I could see he was messing around with it.  Not moments later, he ran out to tell me he locked his door and couldn’t get in.  I lost my shit.
I’m usually a very laid back and get down to their level type of parent.  Yet, the last few weeks have been a strain with a new baby in the house and a new found independence of a 4 year old.  I caught myself yelling at him as I was sticking a bobby pin in the lock.  Of course we don’t have keys for the doors.  Afterward I sat down and felt ashamed of myself.  After I composed myself and was able to get in, by taking off the whole handle of course, I sat down to talk to him.
 
One of the reasons people decide to make a change in their life is because they can’t live a certain way anymore.  This problem is enough for them to look into what they can do to change their current circumstance.  In my specific situation, it was my yelling that I was starting to have a problem with the last few weeks and I wanted to stop.  I wasn’t able to self-improve without self-reflecting. I needed to look at who I was as a parent and what type of parent I wanted to be.
 
These situations come in all forms, and I’ve had my fair share of them.  You can’t move forward until you identify the underlying issues. You can’t expect your life to change until reflecting on yourself and asking the right questions.  These answers encourage us to find what really means to us so that we can decide how to get there. This is why the self-improvement begins with self-reflection.

Self-Reflection – meditation or serious thought about one’s character, actions, and motives.

Self Improvement starts with Self Reflection and Awareness letsplanourtomorrow.com

Answer these questions

  • What type of person do I want to achieve to be?
  • Where was I 5 years ago?
  • Where am I right now?
  • Where would I like to be in 5 years?

Take a moment and process those thoughts. You can sign up below to get my free worksheet to brain dump your process of self-reflection.

Self Reflection

  • Identify areas you want to change
  • What you want to improve on
  • What obstacles you’ll face to achieve those actions
  • Strategies to get there

Self-Awareness

When was the last time you sat down and thought about who you are as a person? What motives you to do the things you do? How can you self-improve if you don’t know these things?
 
You can’t.  You aren’t able to move forward with improvement unless you know why you are where you are right now. Start by picking out specific areas for improvement. The problem most people have is trying to fix too many things at once. There’s no way to do that.  Instead you have to break it into smaller tasks and tackle them one by one. You can’t overwhelm yourself and expect to improve everything. This will prevent you from moving accomplishing your goals.

Independence

Decide now you can make your own decisions and can take the necessary actions to be able to self-improve. Determine yourself what you are capable of and create realistic goals. If you’re looking back at someone for validation, are you doing it for yourself and will it stick?

Self-Love

You must find love for yourself before anyone else can love you.  If you push, those that push back will start to fall back. Accept who you are and where you are now because this moment is what has made you, you. You can become someone who loves themselves. Self-reflect on who you are because you’re the only person who can choose your outcome.

Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted – it is an intimate date with yourself. – Paul Wong

Action

After you answer the questions and created a plan, it’s time to take action. Self-motivation to accomplish the goals you have set in place so you can get to where you want to be.
  • What is your strategy to accomplish your goal?
  • What are the obstacles you’ll face?
  • How will you overcome those obstacles?

Helpfulness

When you find yourself self-reflecting wonderful things start to happen. Instead of looking at others for affirmation, you look to yourself. You don’t compare, as you know where you are going already.  What’s even better, you start wanting to help others accomplish their goals.
 

What you shouldn’t do

Focus on your negative qualities which will only lead to slow growth. Self-reflection is about realizing what those negative qualities are, but not focus on them. You need a positive end goal to focus on into order to get there.  Looking at the flaws in yourself and those around you will move you back in your timeline.

 

How do you self-reflect? Please share ways in the comments that you self-reflect in order to self-improve, I would love to hear them.

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20 Comments

  • Reply Emily

    This is an incredibly helpful post! I’m a huge fan of self-reflection. I’m currently in a stage where I want to change EVERYTHING. But, you’re right: you can’t change it all at once. This post does a great job of helping me break self-improvement plan into manageable parts.
    Emily recently posted…Save or Splurge? (Where to Buy Makeup Basics)My Profile

    February 14, 2017 at 3:33 PM
  • Reply Kathryn | Fashionably Frank

    I like the statement that focusing on your negative qualities will lead to slow growth – I’ve never thought of it that way. This is a great post, thank you!

    xo Kathryn
    http://www.fashionablyfrank.com

    February 14, 2017 at 3:35 PM
  • Reply Camille

    This is so so true. Self reflection is the beginning of everything. This has so much great information, thank you for sharing!

    February 14, 2017 at 6:23 PM
  • Reply Nadia

    Great post. I think somethings we’re all too hard on ourselves, but self-reflection doesn’t mean beating yourself up about everything.

    February 15, 2017 at 8:44 AM
  • Reply Brigette

    I love this! I often forget that other moms have moments where they freak out or get over whelmed like I do. This will help me remember to reflect so I can be a better mom and wife! Thank you for sharing 🙂

    February 15, 2017 at 9:32 AM
  • Reply Krista

    What a cute helpful guide! I think that being a blogger really helps with this. I mean, writing oftentimes equates to self-reflection. Thanks for tha tips!

    February 15, 2017 at 9:42 AM
  • Reply Melissa

    Thank you for writing such a helpful post. As a busy mom of an infant and toddler, I find it hard to set aside time to reflect, but understand its absolutely necessary. No matter how busy our lives become, there is always room for improvement and we should always be setting goals to become better women/moms

    February 15, 2017 at 10:06 AM
  • Reply Nadalie

    This is great Cardi. It’s so easy to focus on the negative. Thanks for the reminder to set my minds on the positive. Ps. beautiful blog!

    February 15, 2017 at 11:55 AM
  • Reply Erin

    Great post! This is motivating me to get back into journaling and meditating.

    February 15, 2017 at 11:58 AM
  • Reply Natalia

    I love your post and writing. We are the rock of our family, and self-reflection is our souls fuel.

    February 15, 2017 at 1:18 PM
    • Reply Cadri

      Absolutely, I have to remind myself of that every day for sure!

      February 17, 2017 at 8:52 PM
  • Reply Jen

    Great post! I do an end-of-the-year self-reflection where I look back at what went right/wrong with the past year and think about how I want the future year to unfold. I choose a word for the year – this year it’s “Nourish” – and then I think about that throughout the year. How will I nourish my mind, body and soul this year? It gives me intention and makes me think about my choices.

    February 15, 2017 at 2:01 PM
    • Reply Cadri

      I love having a word for the year as well, though sometimes I have a hard time narrowing it down and end up with 2! But it really lets you reflect.

      February 17, 2017 at 8:50 PM
  • Reply Stephanie

    I love the message you are spreading here. I try to do self-reflection exercises once a month! It really helps me grow as a person.

    February 15, 2017 at 9:52 PM
    • Reply Cadri

      That’s awesome you are able to take time once month. I know sometimes it’s hard to remember to do that.

      February 17, 2017 at 8:48 PM
  • Reply Jewels

    Useful post! I’m a huge advocate for self-reflection. I actually had a vision board party yesterday, to help speak my reflections in existence.

    February 15, 2017 at 10:26 PM
    • Reply Cadri

      Yea, I love vision boards! They really inspire me to keep going. 🙂

      February 17, 2017 at 8:42 PM
  • Reply Amanda

    I love this post and its such a great reminder!
    Amanda recently posted…Friday FindsMy Profile

    February 17, 2017 at 8:17 AM
  • Reply Kathryn

    Found you on Pinterest, and I’ve followed you everywhere! I am a big proponent of self-reflection to effect change, and I love what you have to say here! <3
    Kathryn recently posted…Comment on Fear: How to Conquer It by thiskathryngirlMy Profile

    April 7, 2017 at 1:53 PM
    • Reply Cadri

      So glad Pinterest brought you here! I followed you everywhere recently too, and can’t wait to get to know you better on social media since we have the same passions! 🙂

      May 23, 2017 at 11:39 AM

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